Shattered

I promised myself I won't cry anymore. Because I always tell to myself I don't deserve this. But no matter what I do, I still end up miserable lately.haay.

I've been going through a rough patch right now. This past weeks has been hell for me. I just kept myself busy during work ( Thanks God we always have a lot of patient) and when I arrived at home I immediately let myself burried in my laptop. I don't need time to think. I'm still on the denial stage so please bear with me.

This morning my Mami Doc ( the one I'm always emphasizing here in my previous posts, my mama here in Saudi ) had a simple talk with us, especially me during breakfast. She immediately asked what happened to me. I'm the kind of person who's good at pretending. You won't even notice I have this burden within me because what I'll show you is always the happy side of me. But you know, upon hearing her voice, I immediately cried. I don't know why. Maybe because I felt I can confess to her like a child. To tell her all my heartaches. To finally let myself burst into tears. She told me that it was better to be loved and to be hurt than to never love at all. That I should take good care of myself. To show him I can still stand up after what had happened. She gave me advices on how to deal with this. I'm just so thankful.

Life has been stressful lately but I choose to be happy by making an effort, by having the will to be so and by focusing on blessings instead of bad vibes. I’m glad that my family and friends are also incredibly positive - being surrounded by these wonderful people is always a pleasure. A real big help for me especially at this moment. 

My lesson learned nowadays, surround yourself with happiness, not just while the sun is out, but forever.

Till my next post everyone.

God Bless Us all...